30 Something and Single

 

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Is She Crazy?

So you’re probably wondering what would possess a woman to want to share her dating stories and experiences with the world and reveal her vulnerability. Well, I have one simple answer: Frustration. Frustration with the new age dating scene, men who “flip the switch” on me, and men who aren’t man enough; with wondering how I am still single and why it is so hard to find a decent guy that I am mutually attracted to. I’m not saying it’s only guys that are the problem. Ladies: we have some work to do as well. This is my attempt to lay it all on the line and channel my frustration into something good.

The Fairy Tale Dream

Flashback to 13 years ago… I was 17, a senior in high school, and had my whole adult life ahead of me. When you’re young you have all of these dreams and aspirations of where you will be in 5, 10, 15 years. I never thought I would be here: 30 something and still single. I was convinced that I would be married right after college, have my first child by the time I was 25, and then have at least 2 more children after that. Yikes! Reality is nothing like I planned. Not that my reality now is right or wrong, or that people who actually fulfilled this fairy tale are right or wrong, but it’s crazy to reflect back and realize that life happens and your “best laid plans” may not be so best laid after all. I have always tried to live my life with no regrets. Like all of you, I have made some great choices in life and some terrible choices in life. But I would never trade any experience that I have had because all of those ups and downs have made me who I am today.

Finding Myself

So who am I? I am an attractive, successful, intelligent, driven alpha female. Sounds great, right? It is, but not in the eyes of many men. I have been told time and time again that I am intimidating, which is something that I have prided myself on but is also my romantic demise. Last year for work I took an online strengths finders test (which I HIGHLY recommend all of you do). There they were. The strengths I knew I had, but never realized:

  1. Analytical
  2. Achiever
  3. Significance
  4. Restorative
  5. Competitive

Holy. Shit. There it was. THIS IS ME. One thing you have to realize about your strengths is that they are also your weaknesses, so here’s a different perspective:

  1. I over analyze EVERYTHING
  2. I hate losing and always have to be #1
  3. I need to stand out and feel important
  4. I need to fix things
  5. Well, this one speaks for itself

Now everything made more sense! This is why I pick guys I need to “fix”, chase after, get their attention, and what’s worse is that along the way I’m over analyzing every move, word, and unspoken gesture.

A Work In Progress

There comes a time when you have to ask yourself: “what is the constant in this equation?” My answer: “Me.” So that’s where I’ve been the last 2 years. Constantly trying to work on myself, find out who I am, and be happy with the woman that I have become and am becoming. In this blog I will not only share stories from past experiences (don’t worry, I will not disclose any names or give specific details), openly discuss the ups and downs you go through as a single woman, and invite my friends and followers to share their stories, but I will also share some advice with you all from things I have learned the hard way.

I have asked myself so many questions that I’m sure you have all asked yourselves: Am I too closed off? Am I too forward? Am I trying to make this work just for the sake of being in a relationship? Is he really interested? Am I really interested? Am I too intimidating? Am I putting myself out there? Being single for 6 years has taught me many things and I owe a lot of my sanity to blogs just like this one that give me comfort in knowing that I’m not alone on my journey. I highly encourage input, feedback, and stories to share on the blog (from any perspective, man or woman). Here are some upcoming topics that I will be discussing in future blogs:

  • Dating Apps: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
  • Chivalry Is Not Dead
  • Blurred Lines of Gender Roles
  • Getting Ghosted and Zombied
  • How Are You Still Single? And Other Obnoxious Questions

Full Disclosure

I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or any sort of medically trained professional. This is a raw, amateur blog.

2 thoughts on “30 Something and Single

  1. Maureen says:

    Well done! I am excited to see where this goes and who participates. Hopefully a fun and interesting story unfolding with input from all perspectives. You are live….!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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